Apparently, ’57 was a good year for Elvis, Chevy’s, and my parents.
I know, I know, you can hardly believe it by looking at me, but I’m turning the ripe old age of 60 on March 13th. It’s a little surreal. I don’t feel that old. I don’t look . . . okay . . . maybe I do look that old. Whatever.
I remember (thankfully, since they say memory is the first thing to go) turning thirty. It was just 10,950 days ago. I was depressed. My 20s were over. Middle age was mocking me to my face, or so I thought. But I pulled out of my misery when it hit me, “At least I ain’t sixty!”
What do I tell myself now?
Sixty is sexy? (Nope.)
Sixty is the new fifty? (Not even close. I did fifty, and it was much better.)
For me, there’s no getting around it; sixty is scary.
Let me explain.
I come from a long line of Bubna men who died in their 60s.
My grandfather, my dad, and one of his two brothers (my uncle), all went to be with Jesus long before they hit 70.
So, you’re thinking, “Ahhh, he’s afraid to die.”
No. That’s not it at all. I openly faced the reality of my mortality over five years ago when I had cancer.
Death isn’t the problem. I’m not worried about dying. All men die.
But I am afraid. I worry that I won’t accomplish the things I still desire to do before I go.
I’m concerned I won’t leave a meaningful legacy.
Frankly, I’m just not done yet.
Yeah, I know, I need to trust in the Sovereignty of God (please don’t go all spiritual on me, I’m trying to have a pity party here).
Yes, I know, just live “one day at a time” (wow, that’s original).
But what if my last “one day” is today?
What if I don’t get that novel done? (It’s on my bucket list.)
What if I don’t get to see at least one of my grandkids give me a great-grandchild?
What if I don’t get to experience one more great movement of God in my lifetime?
Pause. A moment of personal reflection is happening . . .
Maybe there’s something that matters more?
What if I just stop worrying about all the “what ifs?” and decide to measure my life, however long or short it is, by one thing: did I love God and others with all my heart?
You see, young, old, or somewhere in between, what always matters most is not what we accomplished in our days, but whether or not we loved.
With a radical love.
A relentless love.
A revolutionary love.
A profound, uncompromising, and deep-seated love for God and His most-prized creation—you!
It seems appropriate to quote one of the Apostle Paul’s more famous passages here.
“If I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.” I Cor. 13: 2-3
Bubna Paraphrase Edition: Without love, nothing else matters. Absolutely nothing.
So, with whatever time I have left, I will view each day as a gift and do my best to love as I am loved.
Pity party over.
Wonder how I’m going to feel about turning seventy—just 520 weeks from now?
Hmm.
I’ll be fine.
Especially if I invest the next decade loving God and others even better.
Hi Kurt, just turned 72. My 60s were good except for loosing my wife when she was 64 and I was 66. I am still working and blessing my children and grand children. I am blessing Trish too. Life is GOOD and I want to love and live everyday my Lord has for me to live. I so appreciate you and your blogs.
Thank you, Gary, love and appreciate you too my friend!
And I just turned 70, Kurt. I remember 60 well, since I got married later in life, I had 2 sons in college at that time. Now I have 2 grandkids aged 2 and 3 1/2 and I don’t know if I will see great grandkids or not. What I do think about is, if God grants me another decade, where do I want to be and what influence can I leave behind. I remember hearing, when I was in my 20’s, of a person in their 50’s exercising with another in their 90’s and the 90 year old said he had just started his next 10 year plan and was wondering what the 50 year old planned for his next 10 years. I thought that was funny then, now it has more meaning.
Thank you for your comment, Bruce. Perspective is important and it is funny how it changes with time. Love and appreciate you!
2 thumbs up!!! I too will not get my bucket list done so I moved to a get rid of “it” bucket list, 🙂 more liberating and easier to accomplish. Even at 52, life is flying by and the worries of getting things done were the key source of my anxiety, so I quit that!
Thanks, John, funny how time really does fly! Love you brother.
Kurt:), thank you for this article.
You are most welcome, Pieter. Blessings!
I’ll join you at 60 in May. This blog was like reading my mind. Thanks for your wise words. I’m a pastor also, and I needed this today.
So glad it encouraged you, Bryan. Always appreciate the kindness of another “senior”!
Thank you for this post… I feared more if a depressing post…it REALLY wasn’t too much a pity party.. I too feel I understand the fear of turning… 50..60..70… mostly because I look at my parents… where they are at… they don’t act the ages they are.. THANK YOU God!! & yet as they do “age” towards those pearly white gates… I will be left alone here… that scares me, makes me sad at times.. the loneliness while they are up there whopping it up with Jesus & my sister..my cats.. hopefully NO allergies Anyway… IT DOES remind ME to try & not take people for granted….to remember manners..& thankfulness at all times.. to cherish everyone while I have time
Great words, Kelly, “try and not take people for granted” — or time. You are loved!
Hi Kurt, my 60. last year was one of my best birthdays. For a long time I have struggled with mental illness. But in the last 10 years Jesus did free me slowly from doubts, from low selfesteem with the help of a retired pastor and his lovely wife. Now I can start most days with joy and confidence in Jesus which is incredible good.
I think in eternity we will have time enough for all good things to do because our God is t h e good and he is infinite. To get to know him can not end.
Thank you, Katrin, for adding to the conversation! You are loved.
I’ve got two years on you, Kurt, and I can so relate to your words here. No, I’m not afraid of dying either, but I do want to leave a legacy of love when God does call me home. I will share His love with every person, each day, from here on out.
Blessings!
Hi Martha, I think deep inside all of us is the desire to leave a legacy. Praying your love for others leaves a huge mark on many. Blessings back at ya!