I had what started as a disturbing dream last night.
Before I go on, I don’t believe all dreams are from God. Most believe one purpose of our dreams is to help us either store memories or to assist us in deleting unimportant memories. Some also suggest that dreams help us process complicated thoughts and feelings.
That said, last night’s dream was very spiritual for me, and I knew in my knower when I awoke that the Lord was speaking to me through it.
For the sake of brevity, I will spare you the gory details, but imagine a large room and a long line of people waiting to speak to God. This part is a bit embarrassing, but every person in the queue was there to complain to Him about how disappointed they were with me. All of them were family members, old friends, or former parishioners of mine. I wasn’t present in the room, but somehow, I was aware of and observing everything.
When God showed up, there was a collective sigh of anticipation. He sat down at a folding table (not what anyone expected), opened a large ledger, grabbed a pen, and called the first person in line forward.
Person after person walked up, including my ex, some of my children, and hundreds of others, and essentially, they all told God the same thing, “I am so disappointed in Kurt, he did this . . . to me.”
God wrote down something in His ledger after granting a hearing to every person (and it went on for hours).
The longer it took and the more I watched, the greater my shame and fear. I remember thinking, These people are right. I am such a disappointment.
To “disappoint” means to fail to live up to the hopes or expectations of another, and I knew I was guilty. I was in tears long before the long line was finished speaking to God.
After the last person, the Lord stood and cleared his throat to speak to the crowd, waiting for God to pass judgment.
“I have heard your complaints. I have listened to your hearts. And I do care about each of you and your hurts.”
The people almost broke out in applause and murmured collectively in appreciation, but the Lord lifted His hand to silence the crowd and then lifted the open ledger high for all to see.
“But I have recorded only one thing . . . only three words are written after each of your names, for only one truth matters for all eternity regarding my son, Kurt.
The room grew deathly silent before God spoke, and His voice was thunderous as it shook everything and everyone present.
“He is forgiven!”
The people gasped, not in anger or frustration as I expected, but in humility as each person realized: As I am, so Kurt is . . . he is forgiven.
Then, every man, woman, and child dropped to their knees in worship and grateful tears.
Perhaps this dream was my subconscious helping me to process complicated thoughts and feelings.
Maybe my sharing the dream with you seems terribly self-serving. It could be frustrating for you to read this post if I have wounded you. I understand.
So, I will leave it up to you to reject this dream or to consider what, if anything, the Lord might be saying to you.
But I woke up this morning crying as I knew, once again, that the Lord keeps no record of wrongs, and He has set each and every one of us free from shame in Christ.
It’s possible that you have disappointed many and have a long line of accusers as well. If so, consider this today; you too are forgiven.
We are far worse than we ever dreamed and far more loved than we ever imagined.
Live free from shame today.
Banish bitterness, rage and anger, shouting and slander,
and any and all malicious thoughts—these are poison.
Instead, be kind and compassionate.
Graciously forgive one another
just as God has forgiven you through the Anointed,
our Liberating King.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (The Voice)