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The Realities of Bed Head and Bad Breath

A Travel Guide for Life, Faith, and Relationships!


So, I’m watching a movie with my wife the other day. This couple wakes up in bed and they look amazing. His hair and her makeup and hair are perfect, and then they turn and kiss each other passionately.


My wife looks at me and says, “Do I ever look like that in the morning?”


I’m confused; is this a trick question?


“Just in case you’re wondering,” she says, “I’m never going to kiss you like that before a good tooth brushing and breakfast.”


After almost 43 years of marriage, I can categorically tell you, bad breath and bed head are normal.


Very normal.


Everybody wakes up less than perfect.



No one jumps out of bed looking fabulous.


And for the record, movies aren’t real (shocking, I know), and life isn’t nearly as pretty and perfect as some of us think it is.


There’s a reason they put fans in bathrooms. I’m just saying.


I’ve said it a thousand times: Unmet and unrealistic expectations always lead to conflict.




If you expect your spouse always to be amazing, you always will be disappointed.


If you expect your wife to be a "10" before 7 am, you will be disappointed.


If you expect your husband to smell like roses before a good teeth brushing and shower, you will be grossly disappointed.


Life in the real world and a realistic marriage are crusty at times.


We all know this to be true, but here’s something you need to remember: Crusty is common.



Sadly, too many couples expect a never-ending-state-of-romance in their relationship. Romance is, well, romantic, but trouble, disillusionment, and stink happen in every marriage.


I’m not saying we should just wallow in our crustiness. For everyone’s sake, take a bath, comb your hair, and brush your not-so-pearly whites.


But when you roll over in bed, please see the man or woman next to you as an imperfect person you choose to love regardless of how “scary” they may look at times.


Marriage and love are a choice.


Besides, you might want to take a look in the mirror and remember, your spouse is choosing to love you too.


Enough said; time to brush my teeth.




Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Kurt Bubna

Kurt W. Bubna has published seven books, is an internationally recognized blogger, conference and retreat speaker, as well as an experienced life and leadership coach. Bubna has over forty years of experience working with individuals, teams, and a wide variety of business and non-profit organizations.