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Yesterday, while I was reading what the Apostle Paul wrote regarding making sure we are fully armored-up, it dawned on me that my armor is old, rusty, and dented. Yes, old armor is better than no armor, but mine is ugly. Really ugly.
For a long time, I’ve been in the battle.
Battling evil in this world and beyond.
Battling the nasty ways of others.
And battling my flesh (which is not nearly as satisfying as battling yours).
At times, I’ve grown weary in well-doing. It’s not as easy to swing the sword as it once was. Frankly, I’m a mess. A bloody mess.
If you’re reading this and thinking, What’s wrong with him?, then you’re probably a bit too young to understand. Give it a few decades, and you’ll figure it out.
If you’re reading this and wondering, He probably has sin in his life!, then you’re right, I do. But we all do. Wrestling with sin will always be a present reality on this side of eternity.
One of my favorite authors and bloggers, Scott Saul, recently wrote, “Ironically, the more like Jesus we actually become, the more unlike Jesus we realize that we are.”
Yup.
When I was young, I thought way too highly of myself. Now, I realize how kind and merciful God is to this recovering idiot. Every stinkin’ day.
In his blog, Scott also pointed out that “Even the greatest heroes of faith were also flawed and broken—wrecked, weary, restless, and sometimes tortured sinners—even at their spiritual peak.”
So, what do ya do when you’re blemished and battle-weary?
Here’s what I’m doing:
- Remain hopeful. Don’t despair. No matter how ugly the battle is now, it’s only temporary. Seriously, eternity is just around the corner. Hang in there; heaven’s coming!
- Stay the course. Don’t give up. My armor may not be pretty, but it’s never been about me or about looking good. I live to serve the One, and He’s never going to leave my side. Please don’t forget that you and I aren’t in this war alone. When we are weak, that’s when we realize we’ve never been that strong anyhow. But He is.
- Keep fighting. Don’t let your guard down. Okay, you’re old, tired, and beat up, and you don’t shine like you used to (or thought you once did). As my friend Jack Little used to say, “Keep swinging the sword!” King David blew it in his old age because when he should have been at war with his troops, he was lounging on the rooftop drinking Mai Tais. Stay in the battle. Always. Keep. Fighting. (The alternative is worse.)
- Maintain vital connection to others. Don’t get isolated. When you’re tired, the temptation is to withdraw and hide. We tell ourselves (or the enemy whispers), You just need to be alone. The greater your weariness, the greater your need for connection to others who can stand with you and hold you up. I love the story of how Aaron and Hur held up the arms of Moses when he no longer could. When you’re pooped, you need more support, not less.
For the record, I’m good. I’m not suicidal or on the brink moving to a cabin in the wilds of Canada. (I’m too old to learn how to speak Canadian.)
As it happens, my dents just remind me—all the time—of how much I need Jesus—all the time.
Here’s a crazy idea: maybe my beat-up armor is a badge of honor that should remind me that God has always been faithful to me. He’s always been my strength and my shield. He’s always been my helper.
So, fear not, I’m alive and kickin’.
Still breathing.
And still in the fight.
All because of Jesus.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
Psalm 28:7 (NIV)
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You have such an amazing way to encourage others! I do appreciate your transparency too ! Have a blessed day!
Thanks Kurt, I needed this today! I always admired your willingness to be transparent.
This is so amazing!!!! You have such a way with words
As it happens, my dents just remind me—all the time—of how much I need Jesus—all the time.
Here’s a crazy idea: maybe my beat-up armor is a badge of honor that should remind me that God has always been faithful to me. He’s always been my strength and my shield. He’s always been my helper
Thanks Kurt
We are all in this battle
Still swinging the sword over here and trying to figure out our rhythm at this age!
God bless you more!
Excellent Kurt!
With all that is going on around us–the violence, division and dismissive attitude towards God and faith–battle weariness is a given. Thanks for your encouragement. I hear God saying, “lift up your face and soldier on.”
I love the old beat up armor representing Gods faithfulness. So good
Your words really spoke to me as I’m sure they did for others as well. Thank you.
As a battle weary wife of a more battle weary pastor, THANK YOU!! So well said and so encouraging.
The encouragement I needed to hear. Thank you Kurt!
Exactly what I am feeling! Isolation would be so much easier, and I am realizing God’s love for us makes us veterans give hope for the generations coming up behind us. Thanks for this writing
I enjoyed reading your article great insight
Being REAL ~~ that’s what I’ve read here ~~ Not easy to find someone to speak the TRUTH ~~ especially about one self ~~ With LOVE and admiration I applaud You Kurt ‘;)
Wow thanks! I so needed this tonight! I have a few new dents this week but still swinging!! Thanks for the encouragement!!
Totally needed this 🙂 Today.
Thank you.