WHY IT'S OKAY TO NEED TO BE NEEDED (You may not be a narcissist after all.)


Let’s own it: As a culture we are far more narcissistic than we should be. Admittedly, the “me” generation is out of control at times. Last week, I addressed this issue a bit in my blog.

However, maybe, just maybe, there’s something else going on.

I’ve noticed a growing number of people who post on Facebook something like this: “I’m doing a test to see if anybody reads my posts . . . if you’re truly my friend, ‘Like’ this post, or you might be removed from my friend list.”

When I see those posts, I typically do two things. First, in stubborn independence, I refuse to Like whatever they are begging me to Like. Second, I wonder if they understand that Facebook controls the percentage of posts that get shared on their friends’ walls. Ordinarily, only about 12% of any post is ever seen by their friends because Facebook doesn’t pass them along.

That means that if they follow through (which they rarely do, I suspect) and delete their non-liking friends, they are eliminating about 90% of their friends who have never even seen the dang post.


NEEDED Guy on Social MediaBut it got me thinking. Why do we do this kind of thing, and why does it matter so much to us? I’ve never pulled the “Like me or you’re out” thing on my friends, but I do like it when I’m Liked. Not too long ago, I said to my wife, “Hey, I got over 200 Likes on my blog post.”

I look. I check. I ache just a little whenever someone unsubscribes from my blog.


Perhaps my insecurities have gone wild. Maybe I worry too much about what people think about me. I might be a closet narcissist!

Or . . .

More than likely, there’s something else in play here.

Maybe you and I were made to be wanted. Perhaps God included the need to be needed in our DNA. What if we were made to be in community? What if it’s okay to desire Likes because we crave connection with others?

Need WE

Sure I sometimes question the legitimacy of my Facebook “friends.” Certainly there is and should be far more to our human connections than the things we might gain through social media.

But this need to be liked does tell a story about humans who know in our knower that “we” is more important than just little ole me.

Made in the image of God, we, like the community of the Trinity, are destined for connection. So perhaps it’s okay to need to be needed and to want to be liked because we truly do need each other.

In all of your relationships, choose well, live well, be well.

Time to check Facebook! 🙂

Need 1 Cor 12


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