WHY IT’S OKAY TO NEED TO BE NEEDED (You may not be a narcissist after all.)

WHY IT’S OKAY TO NEED TO BE NEEDED (You may not be a narcissist after all.)

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Let’s own it: As a culture we are far more narcissistic than we should be. Admittedly, the “me” generation is out of control at times. Last week, I addressed this issue a bit in my blog.

However, maybe, just maybe, there’s something else going on.

I’ve noticed a growing number of people who post on Facebook something like this: “I’m doing a test to see if anybody reads my posts . . . if you’re truly my friend, ‘Like’ this post, or you might be removed from my friend list.”

When I see those posts, I typically do two things. First, in stubborn independence, I refuse to Like whatever they are begging me to Like. Second, I wonder if they understand that Facebook controls the percentage of posts that get shared on their friends’ walls. Ordinarily, only about 12% of any post is ever seen by their friends because Facebook doesn’t pass them along.

That means that if they follow through (which they rarely do, I suspect) and delete their non-liking friends, they are eliminating about 90% of their friends who have never even seen the dang post.


NEEDED Guy on Social MediaBut it got me thinking. Why do we do this kind of thing, and why does it matter so much to us? I’ve never pulled the “Like me or you’re out” thing on my friends, but I do like it when I’m Liked. Not too long ago, I said to my wife, “Hey, I got over 200 Likes on my blog post.”

I look. I check. I ache just a little whenever someone unsubscribes from my blog.


Perhaps my insecurities have gone wild. Maybe I worry too much about what people think about me. I might be a closet narcissist!

Or . . .

More than likely, there’s something else in play here.

Maybe you and I were made to be wanted. Perhaps God included the need to be needed in our DNA. What if we were made to be in community? What if it’s okay to desire Likes because we crave connection with others?

Need WE

Sure I sometimes question the legitimacy of my Facebook “friends.” Certainly there is and should be far more to our human connections than the things we might gain through social media.

But this need to be liked does tell a story about humans who know in our knower that “we” is more important than just little ole me.

Made in the image of God, we, like the community of the Trinity, are destined for connection. So perhaps it’s okay to need to be needed and to want to be liked because we truly do need each other.

In all of your relationships, choose well, live well, be well.

Time to check Facebook! 🙂

Need 1 Cor 12


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8 Responses to WHY IT’S OKAY TO NEED TO BE NEEDED (You may not be a narcissist after all.)

  1. Liked this article but I think it sad when our human connections are from social media. I feel as Christians we need to encourage time spent with each other in person as more important. We are too ‘socially mediated! (New word?) How about a phone call, card or note sent, invitation to meet together. We are missing the mark! I need human connection in the true way God intended! I miss the real personal connection but it is up to me to make it happen. The amount of time we spend on social media we could have made a ‘real connection!’

    • Hi Kathy,
      I’m absolutely agree with you! My blog was not meant to promote “social media” as a primary means of connection, only to explain why we long to be connected. Social media can help, but it should never replace face to face. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
      You are loved!

  2. Totally get you.
    And I like what you wrote!
    When I post some things I get from the Lord, it can be pretty straightforward. But because of that it can seem controversial or maybe not liked as often as my creative writing where I feel God oozing through to love people. I do agonize when my true friends (and family) don’t like it, but I’ve been dying to that my whole prophetic life. Yep I’m human. Rebecca

  3. I,too, love FB. It has led to renewal of relationships from umpteen years ago AND to phone calls & cards etc etc. But, I have found, since I have re-entered the “real world”,got off my you-know-what & am actively participitating in volunteering & classes I am much more content & happy. Did somebody say once “no man is an island”? Goes for women too!
    Good word son.

  4. its sad when your child comes to you and says I “have” to be on FB, twitter, vine, pinterest…etc etc… for school REASONS(yes,teachers are expecting kids to have these social medias) or for my after school club says I have to be apart of whatever…and it just breeds from there…and We fortunately say back to said child you may have ONE social media outlet…you decide and it will be monitored and if its a problem with teacher or organization then WE will talk to them. I just think its ridiculous!! How do our kids react to the actual REAL world when its only electronic based??

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