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The Problem with Comparison

Most of us struggle with comparing ourselves to others. We did it as kids, we did it as teens, and we’re still doing it way too often as adults.


How cool is my car compared to yours?


How beautiful is my house (or at least my yard) compared to the neighbors’?


How many views and likes did my blog post get compared to so and so’s?


We know we shouldn’t compare. We understand it’s immature. We certainly don’t want to be caught comparing ourselves to others, but many of us get stuck there regularly.



First, I’ll address why comparison is unhealthy, and then I give you some practical ways to stop it.


Comparison is a trap.


When I compare myself, my gifts, my stuff, and my life to yours, I end up in an emotional snare that cripples me. How so? When I compare myself to others, I either become proud or depressed, and neither condition ends well.


King Solomon said that pride leads to downfall because no human is as impressive as they think, and at some point if you imagine you’re on top, there’s only one direction to go. Furthermore, arrogance destroys relationships, cockiness becomes intolerable, and smug overconfidence makes us vulnerable to failure.


On the other hand, a state of depression—stemming from feeling like you never measure up to others—positions you as the “gloom and doom” guy nobody wants to be around. Eeyore might be cute in a Winnie the Pooh story, but in real life, that person is avoided like a virus.



Comparison is the enemy of fulfilling your purpose and destiny.


You have a mission. God has a plan for your life. However, when you are comparing your life to some other person’s, you end up missing your destiny. You can’t find God’s path and purpose for your life when you’re trying to walk on someone else’s road. How can you see what God wants you to see or go where God wants you to go if you are fixated on the journey of another person?


Furthermore, there is no joy, satisfaction, and certainly no contentment in your life if you are always looking at others and comparing yourself to them.



So, what’s the solution?


First, recognize the foolishness of comparison. You can’t stop what you don’t acknowledge and own.


Second, confess the sins of ambition and selfish conceit (which are often at the heart of comparison).


Third, get an accountability partner who will call you out when you need it. Find a friend who will encourage you to be who you are in Christ.


Finally, learn to relish and rest in all that God has done, is doing, and will do in and through you.


Remember, no one in all of history—past, present, or future is like you. Your fingerprints, your DNA, and even the voice God gave you makes you one of a kind.


You truly are wonderfully made and a marvelous work of creation. So why would you want to be anyone else or compare yourself to others when God made you special?


I will offer You my grateful heart, for I am Your unique creation,

filled with wonder and awe.

You have approached even the smallest

details with excellence;

Your works are wonderful;

I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.

Psalm 139:14 (Voice)


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Kurt Bubna

Kurt W. Bubna has published seven books, is an internationally recognized blogger, conference and retreat speaker, as well as an experienced life and leadership coach. Bubna has over forty years of experience working with individuals, teams, and a wide variety of business and non-profit organizations.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Shala Viall

    Kurt, Thank you for consistently making me stop to think deeply about who I am. Your messages seem to be so timely for me and my current state. My heart is changing in so many ways… learning grace with others… with myself. Learning that I have so much to contribute but it may look different than what others are doing. Enduring the constant noise and babble in my head of “but they are doing this” and “why am i not where they are?” … It’s exhausting. This very topic has been at the forefront for me for weeks now… Today, you reminded me that God isn’t comparing me to others… why am I?

    Thank you for being you…

    1. KurtBubna

      Thank you, Shala, for your honest and transparent response. I’m so glad this blessed you. Thank YOU for being YOU! 🙂

    1. KurtBubna

      Thank you, Julene. You are loved!

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