The Inside Scoop On Painful Staff Departures!

Fire someone Ted

“It just seems like we’re going different directions, and I think it’s time for you to move on.” Without a doubt, those are the hardest words I’ve ever spoken to a friend that worked for me.

I was a young pastor in a relatively small church located in a very big city. I’d let folks go before in my many years of managing people in business, but terminating a staff pastor and friend was completely new for me.

I hurt. He hurt. The church hurt. Handing someone his or her pink slip ranks right up there with a colonoscopy in my book.

Even when you know it’s right.

Even when it’s best for the church.

Even when you’ve done everything you could to avoid it.

It’s never fun to part ways with someone you’ve been with in the trenches of ministry. What complicates matters even more is the fact that we are Christians, and it seems inconsistent with our Christian values to fire someone.

Fired Cant KnowWhere’s the grace? Where’s the love? What about longsuffering? All good questions. But sometimes the kindest act of love and grace is to face reality and do the right thing even when it’s hard.

I certainly don’t want to be known as an expert in church terminations, but I have learned a few things:

1.    When someone is fired (or asked to resign), it’s never easy for anyone, including the senior pastor.

If you’re watching and wondering from the congregation about what’s going on, please know that it’s one of the hardest things a leader or board ever has to do. Even if the employee agrees that it’s best for all concerned, it still stings.

It hurts because of the relational bonds that have been formed. It stings because there’s always a sense of failure involved on both sides. “What did I do wrong?” “What could we have done better?” “Where did things go sideways?” It’s painful because you know that this act often sends everyone involved into a tailspin wondering, “What are we going to do now?”

In all my years as a pastor, I’ve never seen a truly amicable divorce. I’ve also never seen an amicable termination. If you hurt as a congregate, please know that we hurt too.

Fired Not Easy

2.    Whether they quit or get fired, you won’t and can’t know everything.

Human nature demands to know. We want answers and insist on an explanation for what’s happened, especially if we’re ticked. We tend to think we have a right to get all our questions answered. The truth is, we don’t.

Sometimes there are legal issues and an employer is restricted in what they can disclose.

Sometimes, to honor someone’s years of service, intentional decisions are made regarding what will and will not be revealed about a former employee to the public. It’s not that we’re trying to keep secrets. We’re just attempting to do the God-honoring thing and take the high road. Fired Big Picture

Sometimes, frankly, the leadership is trying to protect the sheep. What you demand to know may only cause more harm than good.

May I humbly suggest that you learn to trust the leadership? Perhaps they see the bigger picture. Maybe they know something you don’t know and shouldn’t know.

3.    Most churches and church leaders are trying really hard to practice what they preach!

•    Turn the other cheek
•    Don’t take your brother to court
•    Don’t speak evil of anyone
•    Bless those who curse you
•    Love one another

I can assure you, more often than not, an employee was probably given the  opportunity for retraining or repositioning long before they were retired. I have never immediately removed someone from a position unless there was a serious moral, character, or financial failure. Believe it or not, grace is the default for most in church leadership.

Fired loveoneanother

4.    Sometimes a staff change is necessary because people change, needs change, and ministries and churches change.

The church leadership has many critical responsibilities but none greater than managing well the resources of God’s kingdom. Most understand the need for shrewd resource management in the business world. Productivity and the bottom line drive a lot of business decisions.

Though the church is not a “for profit” entity, the church still must steward human and financial resources with wisdom. If someone is failing (for whatever reason) to fulfill his or her God-given and church-mandated responsibilities with diligence and faithfulness, it’s a waste of God’s resources. To keep them around just because we like them or don’t want to rock the boat is unwise and dishonoring to God and to the people who have given their financial support to the church.

Furthermore, character, competency, and chemistry do matter. When one or more of these things are off, everyone is negatively affected.

Fired Things Change

5.    Every leader is far from perfect and is leading staff that are far from perfect too.

Of course, mistakes are made. Without a doubt, personalities clash. At best, we are stumbling along life’s journey trying to do our best, but stumbling nonetheless.

I don’t like using our humanness as an excuse for failure, but I figured out a long time ago that we humans do fail.

Sometimes people fail to listen and learn.

Sometimes people fail to be hard-working and true to their commitments.

Sometimes people fail to put the needs of others before their own and to squash their selfish pride.

And unfortunately, sometimes their failures profoundly impact their lives. I wish this wasn’t true, but it is.

So what should we do?

We practice forgiveness. We grow in grace. We love no matter what. And yet, we make the difficult decisions that are best for all because “sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one”.

Fired Needs of One

By the way, here’s the last thing I want to leave you with: Often there is no inside scoop! Life just happens; things change, and it’s okay. Press on and stay the course knowing that nothing is forever, not my job or yours.

 

12 Responses to The Inside Scoop On Painful Staff Departures!

  1. Thank you Kurt for this. I have heard much and people ask questions or make comments (mostly from attendees who have left or know of someone who left). Having worked for few churches I understand and what others need to understand…we all are human and sinful…God gives grace and knows the details…all of us do not need to know because then it is gossip. We need to trust our leadership and support or move on.

  2. Kurt, very well done and contains so much re Uncle Don’s and my experience at White Rock. How are you making this readily available to your own congregation, not just those who read this? There is a sermon in this. Love from your Aunt Dee who believes in you.

    • Thank you, Aunt Dee. Of course, much of what I’ve learned, I’ve learned from my uncle. I miss him . . . and love you! Thanks for always believing in me.

  3. I so understand, the spoken and unspoken. Thank you for sharing, we are all in this place sometime in our lives. It helps to know that others have been there and understand what we can’t seem to put into words. You are an amazing teacher!

  4. One could be crass and say “It’s none of our business”. Or, one could realize that unless one has been there, one does NOT know what it is like to be in a position of responsibility. The world takes on a completely new meaning when one’s name is at the bottom of the page. I for one thank you for teaching us what it is like to make the decisions, and sharing your thoughts and feelings. Allows us to see your humanity. Your Aunt is correct is there being another “sermon” in there. Also, I think the quote is, to be accurate, “sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, OR the one”.

  5. Hi Kurt, I am trying to find your messages on the site but cannot locate them. Jeremy said last week was excellent, better even than even usual. I am preparing to head back north and should see you about the first of April. Looking forward to farming again. Winter weather has been great here in Arizona.

    God is good. Yes, terminating employees is like a divorce and never easy but sometimes a must.

    God Bless and be safe.

    Gary

Are you aging with grace?
Doug and I have been friends for a long time. Over coffee at Starbucks he said, “I’m afraid [more]
What can your brokenness do for you?
We're all messed up. Yes, I know, that’s not a very positive statement to make. Some might suspec [more]
What Rejection Can Teach You
I’ll never forget the Sunday years ago when a little old lady cornered me in our tiny church lobb [more]
How to Succeed at Everything that Matters
In our culture, we underrate failure, and overrate success, so it might seem pointless to add my vo [more]
Hot Body. Dead Eyes.
At the end of a recent trip to Southern California, my wife and I took the scenic route on our way [more]
A Friend Is . . .
“A friend loves at all times. He is there to help when trouble comes” Proverbs 17:17 NIRV. Ov [more]